Never let anyone dull your sparkle

I've been struggling to find anything to write for a while probably because the world seems to have so much going on it's difficult to know where to begin. I started the year in a positive way everything seemed to be falling into place. And then we went into a lockdown. It has been a rollercoaster. The outbreak of coronavirus has been devastating for many and to everyone who has lost someone to this virus my heart goes out to you. Now I'm a very introverted person I like my own space and more often than not I prefer being alone. I don't usually go out anyway so the thought of being put in a lockdown didn't seem too difficult. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Choosing to be alone and not go out is one thing but not having the option to is very different. It can lead to feelings of loneliness and feeling trapped especially with people that have experienced past trauma. It can bring up emotions and memories that have been suppressed for some time. Living si

Everybody has a favourite person. A best friend. A partner. Someone that they are close to more than anyone else. Maybe someone you spend most of your time with, you enjoy being around them the most and you miss them when they go home. But having a favourite person when you have bpd becomes so much more than that. Having a Fp (favourite person) when you have bpd can be amazing but also excruciatingly painful. How so? Well where do I start... When you have bpd the need for validation is constant. You want to feel cared for and loved and even if you know you are you want to be told every second of everyday. That you are important. You need to be reassured all the time which is very exhausting for a bpd sufferer.  Just a heads up we don't choose to be this way and if we could choose I'm sure we wouldn't choose this. Personally I struggle day in day out with my bpd, my emotions are all over the place and I'm constantly battling the rational side of brain with the bpd si

Brave to be borderline I love you. I hate you. Go away. Don’t leave me...  I struggle with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder and that’s what this post is all about. BPD/EUPD is something that causes a lot of stigma, it’s confusing, complex and it changes from person to person. Because how exhausting must it be to have a Disorder that effects your personality? The personality you’ve spent your life trying to create and find yourself with. I’ll tell you this it is horrible.  I was diagnosed with EUPD last year. When I got the diagnosis I was confused but it did explain a lot. Some days I can be on top of the world in the best mood, feeling so strong and able to take on anything. Other days I am crying in my bedroom refusing to eat, drink or speak to anyone and convinced I’m at rock bottom. There is no in between. One of the struggles some people find with this disorder is it’s very black&white. Good or bad. Amazing or terrible. No middle ground. That is hard. W

You were fine yesterday... It’s all in your head.... you really need to force yourself out of bed...... just think of all the people that have it so much worse than you... Sound familiar? This post is all about mental health stigma.  It’s 2019 should there still be stigma around mental health? NO. Is there still stigma around mental health. UNFORTUNATELY YES.    Mental illness is a disease of the brain much like appendicitis is a disease of the appendix. It is an illness and should be treated with the same compassion as a physical illness.  In the UK the percentage of males who commit suicide is considerably higher than the percentage of females. Why? One reason for some men could be that they feel because they are male they should ‘man up’ and not reach out for help. Seeking help for mental health is often seen as a weakness in men. This isn’t the case. It is okay to reach out regardless of gender, age, race, sexuality everybody in this world deserves to feel supported w

The simplest title out of all my blog posts. Feelings. Such a broad word and can be described in so many ways. There are so many different feelings, some seem to come more from the heart others more from the brain and some are just unexplainable. In this post I'm not going to be focusing on any feelings in particular. Just feelings in general. Studies have shown that there are 6 basic emotions that one human feels. These are said to be: Sadness, Happiness, Anger, Fear and Surprise. But with 1 in 4 people suffering with mental health problems we come to realise some feelings go a lot deeper than that. Feelings come and go, some stay longer than others but why do we have this crazy idea that after a certain amount of time we shouldn't feel the way we do anymore? I'm guilty of feeling this way. People may go through traumatic times in their lives and 10 years later still feel as bad as they did when it happened. Yet some people may be able to move past things within a

Mental Health Crisis: It's completely different for everyone. Hopefully this will be a more light-hearted and positive post. When I am in crisis I would love for someone to put together a survival kit of everything I might need so I guess this is what this post is: My ideal crisis survival kit! In The Box: Headphones: for when things become overwhelming. Fidget cube: to stop from biting nails. Notepad and pen: to doodle or write how you feel (or just random drawings!) Tissues: it's okay to cry. A cuddly toy: for comfort. Worry dolls: may seem childish but it's a comfort thing. Photos: of happy quotes or funny pictures, pictures of your family or pets to remind you how loved you really are! Play-Doh or Plasticine: it's great to play with and keeps your hands busy. Colouring books and pens: a good distraction! I'm sure I'm not the only one who listens to sad music when I'm already sad which then makes me feel worse! But to solve that