Never let anyone dull your sparkle

To grieve is a natural thing and a healthy thing to go through when you lose someone. Grieving is difficult in any circumstance but I'd just like to focus on this.  What happens when you need to grieve over someone who is still alive but you've lost?  I always associated grief with losing someone that had died. But then I lost someone. I lost someone out of my life that I truly believed would be there forever. Not only did I lose them but I knew they were bad for me. I was left feeling mixed emotions when they decided to walk away from me. Was I angry? Sad? Relived? Guilty? Anxious? I had no idea and even to this day I still don't know how I feel.  They say there are 5 stages of grieving:  -Denial  -Anger  -Bargaining  -Depression -Acceptance  Everyone is different and not everyone will go through each stage or in any particular order. For so long I was stuck in the stage of denial. I couldn't believe after so long of having that person

I've been struggling to find anything to write for a while probably because the world seems to have so much going on it's difficult to know where to begin. I started the year in a positive way everything seemed to be falling into place. And then we went into a lockdown. It has been a rollercoaster. The outbreak of coronavirus has been devastating for many and to everyone who has lost someone to this virus my heart goes out to you. Now I'm a very introverted person I like my own space and more often than not I prefer being alone. I don't usually go out anyway so the thought of being put in a lockdown didn't seem too difficult. But I couldn't have been more wrong. Choosing to be alone and not go out is one thing but not having the option to is very different. It can lead to feelings of loneliness and feeling trapped especially with people that have experienced past trauma. It can bring up emotions and memories that have been suppressed for some time. Living si