The Rollercoaster of emotions

Emotional Dysregulation. Personally that word scares me a lot! Makes me think that something is wrong with my emotions and that it's strange to feel how I feel. Many people say 'Oh Lucie's just in a mood or Lucie's just having a mood swing' and to a certain extent that's what they are but sometimes on a much larger scale. Sometimes my mood drops are so severe that I just can't face anyone, I don't want to eat or sleep or drink or do anything. Yet people still say its just a mood swing? If everyone's 'mood swings' were like that then it wouldn't be classed as a mental health issue, it wouldn't be diagnosed it would just be "normal" (whatever normal is!) But it isn't only when a mood drops, I used to get so manically happy about the smallest of things.  Literally bouncing around because EG: we were having a takeaway for dinner! One extreme to the other. So what I'm trying to say is that mood changes due to Emotional Dysregulation can be from one extreme to the other and also anywhere in between that. Imagine a heartbeat scan (you know the ones with the lines that go up and down, not sure what its called!) well anyway imagine that, you've got one extreme to the other you have a steady regular heartbeat pattern=normal mood (in this example) and then when the heartbeat completely drops ( so basically when your heart stops!) that equals the lowest extreme. But in between all that are the peaks of the heartbeat pattern and the slight changes. That is the in between of emotional dysyregulation! That is the changes in someones behaviour that can go unnoticed, the slight changes that the person who is acting that way doesn't always notice themselves. As humans we often only notice changes in behaviour when it's drastic and extreme, that's natural.  BUT we must be aware of the slight changes in someones behaviour because that can help them to feel a little better before the drastic mood drop and can sometimes prevent it! I suffer from emotional Dysregulation, it is NOT just mood swings, it is not just PMT it is not just a MOODY TEENAGER it is a diagnosed and recognised condition. It's not fun in the slightest, It is hard work because the majority of the time I don't know when my mood is going to drop. I could be on a relatively even keel and still I will plummet into the depths of despair (dramatic but true). There may not always be triggers or signs it can be completely random. It can happen when i am out with my friends or family and I am having a good time. I could be having the best day of my life and it is almost as if suddenly a ton of bricks have fell down on me. It can also happen when i am on my own with no one to speak to or even if i am in a room full of people. There is no rhyme or reason to it for me. But all I ask is for you to be patient with people who have this issue, it is not uncommon and goes hand in hand with many other mental health issues.  Bit of a rant I know but that is a brief summary of what suffering with Emotional Dysregulation is like for me. Stay strong lovelies 💜

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